Oh well there’s cakes of lemon-creams that grow like leaves upon the trees and there’s a stream of melted cheese on Birthday Island.
Yes, the streets are made of pizza, you’ll get pizza on your sneakers
and get half the day off work 'cuz it’s your birthday.

Well there’s clowns who shape balloons and all day long you watch cartoons and everything’s done to the tune of "Happy Birthday."
Paper hats and baby cats and action movies and a fake tattoo of boobies battle rapping: "It’s your birthday!"
(well, happy birthday)

chorus
But leave that party hat at home
when you’re going out tonight,
there’s a good chance you’re gonna die... (it's a)

Murder On Birthday Island- everyday is your birthday.
Murder on Birthday Island- and you can stay up until midnight.
Murder on Birthday Island- I hope you don’t die.
Murder, on birthday... murder on, birthday!

(uno, dos, tres, four!)

v2
Well there’s lots of fun and more and every corner has a store
that’s full of bubblegum and porn and no bologna.
There’s a slide that never ends and you can ride it with your friends
and you know every straw can bend on Birthday Island.

You can realize your dreams and learn to fly without The Wings
and there’s a guy who brings you weed and He delivers.
There’s a monkey that can dance and everybody likes your pants
and you say: "thank you for those presents, they were thoughtful!"
(Oh how thoughtful)

(chorus)

Please don’t die!